Seven Laws Of Dating Akita Neru
by Mirror Of Words
Summary: So you wanna date the all-time tsundere queen, now, do you? Well, you gotta go through these seven laws before you even want to think about it, boyo. Good luck; you'll need it. ...what? It's not like I want you to succeed or anything... Hmph... —Rei/Neru, entry for Ryuchu's Under-appreciated Vocaloid Pairing Contest.


**Title: **Seven Laws Of Dating Akita Neru.

**Full Summary: **So you wanna date the all-time tsundere queen, now, do you? Well, you gotta go through these seven laws before you even want to think about it, boyo. Good luck; you'll need it. ...what? It's not like I want you to succeed or anything... Humph...

**Rating: T**

**Genre: **romance/humor/mild hurt/comfort.

**Pairings: **Rei/Neru, with a minuscule dash of Len/Haku.

**Cover Art: **MechArt-CharaChan (deviantart)

**a/n. **FFFFFFFF YESSSS I'M DONE

Anyway, this is my entry for **Ryuchu's Under Appreciated Vocaloid Pairings Contest **(hopefully I got that right?)~~ I thought I wouldn't make it in time (exams arghhh) but whoop-dee-doo I did. Seeing as this is a first for me, I'm pretty excited.

**MizuneMinamiki **suggested I did angst, which I did try, but the thing ended up as a cliffhanger and had to proceed as a two-shot and I couldn't find a loophole around this and ALL THAT INSPIRATION THAT POSSESSED ME FADED AWAY AND I REFUSE TO LEAVE THAT TWO-SHOT A ONE-SHOT so this is a replacement...ish... fic. Yeah. But it's still a contest entry. Yesh.

That aside, I hope you enjoy.

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**Seven Laws Of Dating Akita Neru.**

**1. You gotta know how to make me laugh.**

"...and then the guy says, _I know you are but one of mine!" _the charcoal-haired teen burst into a fit of immovable laughter, inducing yet another groan from the blonde beside him. Geez, why did she even let him give this a go? She should've known from the moment she laid her eyes on this shoddy teen (who looks like the spawn of the lamest demon-thing ever, what with that stupid golden butterscotch topaz eyes) that he was gonna botch this, hard. Sigh. She dug out her phone, seriously considering just dating the pink gadget and getting over this "Find An Ideal Boyfriend Who Meets All My Standards, Including This and That, Yadda Yadda Yadda" program.

The boy beside her noticed her faltering attention upon him – more like completely extinguished – he stammered, waving his hands comically and speaking in a flustered tone, "H-Hey, hold on, I still got another!"

Oh, God. She can_not _take this any longer.

"Y'know, Rei, maybe – "

"Wait, wait, how 'bout this one?" the boy cleared his throat dramatically, "So, there's this new restaurant on the Moon. It has great food and all – "

Wait for it… the absolutely lame joke punchline-or-whatever-you-call-it...

" – but it lacks atmosphere! Get it? Lack… atmosphere… on the Moon…" he stopped, giving her a long, hard, intelligent stare. "It's not funny, is it."

Her gaze was torn off the cellphone screen, staring at the form of the boy beside her. His head was lowered in a crestfallen expression, amber eyes quite dull. His fingers toyed with his sweater's sleeves uneasily, and she couldn't help the fuzzy feeling rising at how adorable he looked that way, with his cheeks puffed out and all that.

She pulled his cheek playfully, laughing at his startled reaction and nearly childish "h-hey!" of retaliation. He looked flustered, face all red as if he was (probably) blushing, and the spark in those sun-coloured eyes had returned.

"Oh, you," she laughed, giving his shoulder a light shove, and he smiled at her in return, the smile elicting more warmth and fuzzy fuzziness in her.

**2. Treat me to stuff I love every occasion you get to.**

"Here, lemme top up your prepaid card, Neru."

"Want some chocolate, Neru? Just got some imported from…uhh… outside! Yeah!"

"So I kind of got you this dress and all but now that I'm looking at you I don't think you're gonna fit in it because you ate all those chocolates and _owwww_ – "

"Learn how to hold your mouth, Kagane," Neru sighed, rubbing her fist after dealing the idiot with a solid punch onto his face (the indentation of her glorious fist looked perfect). "Geez."

"But I'm trying to please you, stupid." Rei complained, then backed off uneasily at her deadly lavender glare. "Err, that is… S-Stupendous! Stupendous. B-Besides, I was joking earlier. The dress? You're not too big for it, the dress is too big for you! Err, wait, I mean – "

"Whatever." she mumbled, ready to whip out her phone, the ultimate sign of complete rejection. "So, what's my gift today, Kagane?"

"Oh. Huh. Um." It was obvious he was stuttering from the lack of gifts he had to give. "Hmm." She chanced him a glance, and he was sporting a curious, thoughtful expression. "Today's an improvision!"

Improvision? "What do you – "

Before she managed to finish her demand, his lips met hers, and, as quickly as it began, it ended, his lips parting with hers in a split second.

"So… how was it?" he beamed, sporting his ridiculous grin.

She began to stutter – a first – and she could bet a million prepaid cards her face was beet red. In an agonising fit of contradicting emotions, her feet flew up and connected between the boy's legs. His grin contorted into a laughable cringe, and she probably would've laughed if she weren't so confused with her feelings.

"Oww! N-Neru, w-what the hell?" he almost bawled, his knees folding inward but miraculously managing to keep him standing.

"Y-You idiot!" she barked flusteredly, dramatic gestures flying all over the place until she calmed herself. "I-I – That didn't count. That sucked. Try again. I didn't like that."

"No wonder they call you the Tsundere Queen," he groaned, finally pacing himself after the pain equivalent to the world shattering. He snorted loudly, giving her an indignant stare, his idiotic grin making a come back.

"You better not blame me if you don't get pregnant with my babies – _owww_!"

**3. Phone time means don't disturb me (other than utter rejection, har, har). I dare you to find a loophole in this.**

_Tap, tap, tap_.

"So, Neru… I was wondering if, uhh…"

_Tap, tap, tap._

"we could go on a date or something?"

_Tap, tap, tap_.

"I mean, my sis has a friend whose father owns a café, and she can gets us a deal, I think. It's pretty popular, and it usually packs a full house, so we're lucky we can get a seat, you know?"

_Tap, tap, tap._

"… Aaaand you're not listening."

Rei sighed unhappily, staring at the girl tapping away with drastic speed on her phone. What the hell she was doing, anyway? Texting? _Duh, genius, what else. _Haku, maybe?Poor girl, always being bombarded by the girl's texts. How could he get her to stop and listen to him? How does his words fly over her head, anyway? Couldn't she, like, listen to him while texting? The tapping couldn't be _that _loud. It's not fun getting shunned like that all the time. He'd try snatching her phone away, but that girl had knuckles of steel and an iron grip. He didn't need Rui laughing her butt off at his face again, that was for sure (neither would he want millions of potential future generations sacrificed, but he didn't even want to think about that).

So what could he do?

Hmm…

A creative thought popped into his mind, and he whooped in joy. He would grovel before his own stupendous brilliance. Fishing out his own phone, it took a few moments before he sent his text, then peered over Neru's phone with an incredulous smirk on his face.

**Rei**: wanna go on a date :3 :3

No more than a blink of an eye did he receive a reply.

**Neru**: Sure.

Beside him, he could see Neru smiling at him.

**4. No stupid nicknames. Period. Especially ones my exes used to call me. No exceptions. Well... Maybe...**

He was late.

He said he'd pick her up at three. He's five minutes forty-two seconds late and counting. And she will never let him live this down. How was he going to be her boyfriend if he wasn't going to be punctual? Geez –

Oh, wait, there she is. Rei ran towards her, a bright smile upon his face. His smile would make a good toothpaste ad, she thought solemnly. Look at that holy light beijg reflected by those rows of teeth. Too bad she's gonna have to break those teeth of his for keeping her waiting.

"Sorry for the wait, Ne-Ne!" he laughed, running up to her. "Hope you didn't have to wait too long, ehh?"

"What the hell did you just call me." Neru deadpanned, him being late completely over her head. The boy, not having a clue from the killer expression from her face (no, he's definitely playing innocent with that baby-face of his), continued on.

"Huh? What's wrong, Ne-Ne?" he grinned, the smile spreading from ear to ear. "It's a nickname. Isn't it sweet?"

"No. It sounds disgusting."

"What?" he seemed offended, giving her a bout of anger. "Do be wary, Akita Neru, that people are born with such a name."

"Sucks to be them, then."

"Say as you will, then… Ne-chan."

"Shut it with the nicknames, Kagane." She snapped, her fist curling and ready to deliver a finishing blow. "You like it when I call you Rei-Rei? Hmm? What about Bakagane?"

"I wouldn't mind, frankly." He ducked to his side to avoid her punch, then laughed heartily. "Ha! See what I did there – _gahhh_!"

"No nicknames. Period." Neru finished, rubbing her fist with her signature glare trailed on him.

"C-C'mon…" he whined, rubbing his cheek gingerly. "There's gotta be something I can call you besides just Neru. I mean, seriously! Neru! Such a boring name oh umm wow alright I'm sorry I didn't mean that." He huffed when Neru withdrew her fist. "Umm… I'll call you Ne."

"No."

"Nene?"

"Do you need another fist across your face?"

"Ne-chan."

"Ditto."

"… Aki-tan?"

"What. No. No referring to me as Akita. At. All."

"… then… uhh…"

She waited, patience rivaling that of a saint.

"… Ruu-chan?"

Beat. "No."

"Aha," he said, in a moment of profound level of intelligence. He stood up, that freaking grin on his face once more. "And what is your explanation for that delayed answer of yours? Hmm hmm, methinks you find no fault in such a cutesy nickname – _arghh_!"

This time her fist connected with his jaw, and he probably would've flown over to the next planet if not for Earth's gratituous gravity pull.

"Let's just go already," she huffed, nudging the fallen boy who rubbed his jaw, with her leg. He complied, grumbling to himself in a little bout of tantrum-throwing she found amusing. She gave him a little nudge on his shoulder, her face reddening slightly as she kicked into tsundere-mode.

"… i-it's not like I prefer Ne-chan over Ruu-chan… not that I like R-Ruuchan in the first place..."

Cue stupid smirk. "Sure, sure, RuuRuu-chan."

She was pretty sure he flew to the neighbouring galaxy this time.

**5. Keep me out of boredom at all times. Catch a clue when I whip out my phone**.

"… thus, you carry over the five, and…"

Behold, mathematics. The worst subject ever invented. Her mind was as blank as a clean slate as she stared at the teacher who rambled on and on and on and on about something the class would never understand for the rest of humanity's lifespan. The hand concealed in her pocket was already thumbing the phone, just itching to tap away at those buttons. She'd send a text to Haku or something. She'd trained her to text efficiently and ninja-like in class, so it should be all good. She needed the girl to obliterate Dell's laptop, anyway, in return for the phony answers she'd given her when the class had a pop quiz (stupid Dell). Unfortunately Haku was in a different class at the moment, and, if her assumption could be relied upon, Haku had Kiyoteru's class, and damn that man. If you actually managed to get your shit pass that man, you'd be in the heavens, worshipped like the God you are, and not in that devil incarnate's class.

Her phone buzzed, to Neru's surprise – so she was wrong about Haku's class! Awesome – but she was grateful for it. She fished out her phone hastily, taking little to no caution at all (Yohio-sensei was such a ditz) of being caught, and flipping it open with a smile, although it was obliterated mere moments later.

**Rei:** bored much lolol

Ugh. Of all people. She chance a glance-slash-glare at Rei, who was oh-so innocently paying - as he would call it – _stupendous_ attention to the teacher. She supposed she could accept this grudgingly. He was saving her from certain boredom (though likely throwing her into a higher level of it at the same time, sigh).

**Neru**: Off my ass. 'Bout you?

**Rei**: meh I guess. Maths is so hard to understand

**Neru**: Oh, thank you gloriously for your profound moment of observation, Captain Obvious. What will the world ever do without you.

**Rei**: remember the first time we met?

Huh? Neru stared at her screen with a quizzical expression. Where was he going with this? Well, she supposed it wouldn't hurt to go along with it… Before she managed a reply, the next message arrived.

**Rei**: I was like shopping something for sis, mayb a phone or somethin? Dun remember

**Rei**: and then I see this beautiful blonde sitting by the road.

**Rei**: she was like so interesting to me I kinda knew that it was love at first sight lol lol xP

**Rei**: for me, at least, dunno bout her.

**Rei**: but then I recognised her, like isn't she that tsundere queen? Why haven't I noticed her before?

**Rei**: then I realised

**Rei**: she look so sad, that's why.

Neru read on with bated breath. She hadn't a clue as to where he was heading on with this story, but she knew, despite himself, each and every word was genuine.

**Rei**: so i went up to her and asked her whatsup

**Rei**: guess she was kinda meh w/ me, but probs she recognised me, but she kinda didn't wanna tell me and just sat there listlessly

**Rei**: so i got her some bubble tea to warm up with her

**Rei**: She told me she broke up with someone. Ant it hurt. I didn't like that. Wanted to punch whoever hurt her. She said she was going so well with im, and he broke up w/her. I still don't know why though? But I told her I'd be with her if she wanted me to.

**Rei**: And she said, yeah.

**Rei**: But you gotta go through the Seven Laws of Dating Akita Neru first xPP

**Rei**: luv u Ne-chan :33

Geez, way to end it so goddamn cheesily. But she was in a daze, staring at the flowing text on her phone screen. It was so... so simplisitic, yet it told a million tales, more than she'd know of. She never really thought he had that connection with her that day, and he was just going along with the works. She was so busy wanting to fill the empty gap in her heart, she got him to do it. He was nothing to her, and...

**Rei**: ur my everything, Ne-chan~ mwahh

**Rei**: Ne-chan?

How did it come this far, anyway?

**Neru**: huh. myeah.

**Rei:** do u love me back? ;)

She never gave him an answer, and they never talked of it ever again.

**6. Don't be Mr Dopey all the time, yeah. Give me some sexy.**

_"Ye~ah! Sco~re!"_

Neru glanced at Rei upon his sudden outburst. He was leaping on the pool table, yelling away. His face was flushed, and it didn't take a genius to figure out the boy was drunk. Wait, isn't he underage?

"Rei's really… active today, isn't he?" Haku commented beside her, sipping at her float with a smile on her face. The multi-coloured lights (red and yellow and red and green and yellow and _ughhh_) illuminated her friend's features, giving some sort of life to her paleness and sparking her magenta eyes. Neru gave a half-hearted nod in return.

"Yeah, he sure is." she commented dryly, then turned to her best friend. "Say, how'd you get us a place in this nightclub, anyway? Who's footing the bill?"

"Dell's got a friend," Haku said simply. "Umm, Hibiki, is it? He kinda owns this place, so he got the lot of us places. I made sure to get you and Rei a place, heheh..."

"Mm hmm." Neru grunted at how a bunch of oafs were heaving each other onto the pool table, going all "cheers!" and singing some song or something. By the way things were progressing, it looked like there was going to be a rap battle. Wait, Rei's going to rap? She'd bet he rapped like a dope. "Real sweet."

"I know. I mean, we never really get this kind of – _eep!_" Haku yelped and Neru turned to her in surprise, only to find the silver-haired teen in a fit of giggles as her boyfriend swooped her into his arms.

"Whoopsie~" the boy – Len, from all those moments Haku swooned over the teen – gave Haku a drunken smile, "Sorry, there. Little tipsy, ehh." He gave a grin reminiscent of a certain doofus. "But you free, right?"

"Y-Yeah, sure," Haku said dazedly, and Neru took her glass away without a word, earning a thankful glance – too preoccupied with the (quoting Haku) sexy beast before her – from her friend before she whisked away into the dancing crowd. She gave a sigh, smiling for her friend. She seemed so genuinely happy.

_"Hey_, Ne-chan… "

Her breath hitched as a hand curled around her wrist and spun her around; everything was so blurry she could only comprehend the two drinks slipping from her grasp, and the rough shove of lips upon her own two dull amber eyes staring straight into her own lavender-tinted ones.

"H – Hey!" she shoved the boy before her away, only to realise it was actually Rei, with a grin noticeably darker than all others he's given to her - a devil in disguise, indeed. "R-Rei?" she couldn't help her stammer, taking in his whole figure. His hair was drenched in liquid (alcohol?), making it fall over his shoulders in floppy, unkempt strands. His shirt was nowhere to be seen, his chest in full view – and, boy, look at those abs-in-making…

Wait. What. The. Fuck was she thinking about?

"_Ne-chan_," he drawled, backing her into a wall. He toyed with her sidetail playfully, and she didn't halt his actions, either, feeling a little dazed by him, this… new side of Kagane Rei, the idiotic oaf, all-smiles, nowhere to be seen, leaving behind this… sexy beast. The new, dark possessive side of him practically flowed out of him, like a sort of nightmare she didn't quite mind facing, and, in fact, wanted it to overwhelm her and take her away into the never ending dark -

Urp.

He pressed his lips against hers once more, a little lighter this time, but the undertones of dominance were all over. She closed her eyes, submitting and pressing against him in utter helplessness and submission, and she heard a growl of pleasure elicited from this beautiful stranger before her. Sure enough, he reeked of alcohol all over - she could almost taste it - overwhelming yet cradling her within its grasp, but she could also make out a light scent of… bubble tea. Mango-flavoured, all soft and smooth and delicious, providing warmth and comfort. Like the one he offered her the first day they truly became acquitted.

Which only brought her back to the question which plagued her.

_do u love me back? ;)_

**7. If you really care for me, you'll be putting up with all my shizzo, right! I'll put up with yours too, huh? Besides just abusing you, that is.**

"Neru! Neru, w-wait!"

Neru halted her conversation with Haku, turning around to see the boy she'd been avoiding all day. An eyebrow rose, and a quick glance to Haku told the meek girl all she needed to know: _head home first. I'll catch up with you later._

Rei panted and stopped before her, almost falling over but managing to stay on his feet. "Ne… Neru… I… I… "

She stared at him unmovingly, awaiting what he had to say to her.

"Ne… Neru… I'm sorry." he gasped out. He stood upright, staring her straight in the eye, amber clashing against violet. "I… At the nightclub…"

"What, that?" she surprised him, even herself, at her laxness of that day, "It was nothing. I mean, it's not like we did anything untoward. I woulda punch you if you did."

"But… But still!" he insisted, solemnness written all over him; she didn't like that. She wanted his goofy self back, his shit-eating grin and lovable attitude. "I… I was harassing you! You can't _not_ mind that! I…" he looked a little – no, very crestfallen. As if disappointed. No, that's exactly what he was. "You deserve better than me… I'm not worth for your time, Neru. What kind of boyfriend am I? Can't even keep my head and look after you?" She thought she saw a faint glimmer in his eye. "I... I'm not –"

"Ne-chan."

He stumbled. "Wh-Wha?"

"It's Ne-chan, Rei." She smiled. "Who's to say you're not worth my time, huh, bossy? I'm to decide that, remember?" She flicked his forehead playfully, and he yelped - there we go, there's the Rei I know. "Seven Laws of Dating Akita Neru?" She took his hands into her own. "You're everything I could want, Rei. It wasn't that way at first, I'll admit," she bit her lip uncomfortably, "I was just using you to get over Akaito, I'll admit, but it turned out to be more than that, yeah? I realised that I had so much feelings for you, too. And I promise you," she gave a slight pause, contemplating on her choice of words, "I promise you that, no matter what, this is gonna be it. You and your absolute dorkiness snagged my heart. And I don't want you to change, ever. This is the Rei I know, and the only Rei I need. Alright?"

Before he could say anything in return, she tiptoed to his height and indulged herself with his soft lips.

**And now. The ultimate verdict of all verdicts. Last impressions matter! But then again, it's pretty much too late for that, so just wait with all that dread and trepidation. Hah.**

"So," Rei quipped, smiling with his ever-dorky toothpaste-ad grin. "Does this mean I'm your boyfriend now?"

"Stupid Rei," Neru chided with a small bout of giggles, wrapping her arms around his neck and connecting their foreheads, smiling sweetly at him. "Who said you weren't already?"

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**a/n. **so how did you find it? Fun, boring, what-did-I-just-read? Leave a review with your thoughts, yeah? Criticism needed.

Even so, thanks a bunch for reading~!

hmm, I should really write more humor. I had a lot of fun writing this...


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